Do you conform?
Be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Whether it is family, friends or coworkers; we are attracted by the difference in each other, but in time we seek to make others conform. It makes us feel more comfortable and helps us to achieve our agenda. How would life be if we were able to celebrate and embrace our differences? What would happen if we lived our authentic self and become mirrors that reflect an opportunity for others to transform if so desired. How would we feel if we allowed it to be okay to let others be who or what they chose to be? If you could be and do you while releasing the need to fulfil some preconceived persona, what would that look like?
A few years ago; I chose to leave my spiritual practice with small groups, to go out in the workplace to live my values. I chose a retail environment because I would impact and be impacted by people from all walks of life. One might question that choice and some did and shared their concern. Yet, I chose this avenue because it was crucial to me that I practiced what I preached. This setting would gift me with a myriad of people to work with, be engaged with and be impacted by I would not have the luxury of knowing them to pre determine their mood, attitude or responses to me. Maybe on occasion I would interact with someone I knew but more than likely they would be strangers. In mere moments I would have to make a connection and put my version of customer service and loving kindness into action with the hope that I could make a difference a positive memorable impact and grow and develop personally in the process.
A wonderful company chose me and I proceeded to be dedicated and determined to excel and develop as the queen of customer service understanding that I had to be the change I wanted to see. Everyday, each day no matter how I felt I had to make a conscious decision to “be” my values. I wanted to feel the impact myself and have it affect the leadership team, the associates and our clients. In my mind to be effective at customer service or better said serving customers with lovingkindness is to create this full circle which starts with the “self.”
It took everything in me not to conform to the attitudes and disposition of my work environment. I also had to be disciplined enough to maintain my values in every aspect of my life. This included home, work and play, 24/7, all day everyday. This was not a game of make believe to me I wanted it to be real. Well,let me tell you, sometimes you just want to give in and conform; but I had gotten a taste of the transformative life and I wanted more of it. During my last year with this company I decided to wear my hair natural and endure all that the process entailed. I used all the creativity I could muster to be my authentic self, stay true to my values and achieve my goals while corralling my self esteem. I must say achieving the confidence to go through this change at this time of my life was yet again another struggle in the conform or transform journey.
My effort was rewarded when I was offered an opportunity to move to my present company. I am continuing to develop and execute my “serving people with lovingkindness model.” Taking into account the admonishment given when preparing to take flight on an airplane you first put on your mask then you assist others I knew it was important to make changes in me before and during this process if I could ever hope to make a change in others.
So, I embark on a daily journey of resurrecting aspects of myself that are authentic, burying the parts that do not work, and allowing grace to mold me in ways I could not have imagined. Either way I am in the transformation process and I am in too far to start conforming now. That means that I exude loving kindness, joy and happiness, I love to “guild the lily”–hello jewelry real, fake and gaudy, natural curly, kinky and funky hair, makeup or none and a sense of style that is all my own. Get to know me and you will find the real deal in an authentic package sometimes eccentric and over the top at other times relaxed and carefree.
Much Love, Many Blessings…Namaste!!! Ms Sheila
Archives for March 2015
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Sir Winston Churchill
Options. I am blessed to have options in my life. The world I live in is filled with options. Why is this important ? Well, according to a google search definition “an option is a thing that is or may be chosen. It is a choice, an alternative or a recourse.” This idea of “options” gives me a sense of peace and reduces stress. Even on my job we have been encouraged to give people options allowing them the opportunity of choice. This led me to share how options have impacted me personally.
A little more than a year ago I felt so indecisive about my job, what I would do when my daughter graduated, whether I wanted to live in the midwest, etc. It felt as if I had so many questions yet so few answers. It appeared as if I was stuck with very few choices. Doubt and fear were hiding my dreams.
During this time my mother went through a critical health crisis and survived. Needless to say this was a definite reality check. All of a sudden I had to reevaluate what was truly important. Then I was given the opportunity and made the choice to change jobs. This new job was a great fit for me it aligned more closely to my values, ideas about servicing people and allowed my gifts to be brought to the surface and shared. That decision alone has opened my eyes to this idea of options. It may be that you are in a season where you need to work to help meet the needs of your family or for your personal benefit but where you work and what you do is a choice. There may be options available if you open your mind and heart to them. I believe when we align ourselves with the flow of all that is good then good will come our way.
The midwestern winters also made me contemplate where I wanted to live and if a move was imminent when my daughter graduates. Should I create a retirement home on my parents property in Indiana allowing me the opportunity to be with them and travel, should I return to the Pacific Northwest to be closer to my son and give my daughter a chance to return to her birth state or should I stay in Illinois. I found myself struggling to make decisions and I felt as if I needed immediate direction and answers. Then I came to myself; through the help of my “truth teller” Roxanne and my dad. The reality was I have options; I do not have to live in a sea of indecision, I can pursue my options day by day knowing that the right path will unfold itself in time.
Today, I am very happy for where I am in my life. I am embracing my mid fifties authentically and in the present moment. I have made the choice to embrace this mantra shared with me by my mom; I will “cheat on my doubts, break-up with my fears and marry my dreams” day by day one step at a time. As such I feel very sure and confident the options available to me in this next chapter of my life will allow me the opportunity to live my life for my highest good or better.
Carpe Diem, seize the day and recognize the options in your life. More encouragement at drshelution.com.
Much love, Many Blessings…Namaste!!! Sheila
Insight and Wisdom for daily Meditation
My Father I ask you to give us the insight and wisdom we need for this moment in our lives. There is so much we need to know, but are unable to figure it all out by our self. Today I asked that the Holy Spirit would take away the veil that has obscured our view, I asked that our eyes be open to see exactly what we need to know, we asked you Father to give us a real revelation about our lives, our situations and the truth we need to know and understand right now. We boldly declare that You have given us a spirit of wisdom and revelation regarding the truth we need in our lives right now. You have all the answers needed–answers we shall not find with our own reasoning.
Truth Tellers; someone that tells you the truth.
I can remember reading The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen. There are many variations of this story told throughout many cultures. It serves as a reminder that we all need people in our lives that are willing and able to tell us the truth. The majority of those around us will tell us what we want to hear. They will refuse to voice truth and echo what is thought to be the acceptable belief. Their fear will open the door for misguided information. If you are the recipient of their fear to speak truth you may find yourself symbolically naked, vulnerable and exposed in a very public way. The same ones who heralded you will proclaim loudly your faults and failure.
Pastor Kevin Gerald in Seattle, WA preached a message about respecting the roles people play and the gifts they bring to your life. We are often guilty of trying to make someone something that they are not; or making the relationship something it was never meant to be. That message helped me to appreciate every person in my life and to identify what their role was to me and my role to them. I must say it saves a lot of heartache when you can answer these questions.
- What role is this person playing in my life?
- Am I ready to receive the gifts that they bring?
- Can I respect that this person and their gift may only be there for a season?
- Is it possible for people to play different roles at different times?
This brings me back to the person I will name Truth Teller. They will speak truth; lovingly, firmly with conviction and without manipulation.
- Truth has to be spoken boldly and without fear of retribution.
- Truth is not personal or emotional .
- Truth stands on its own it does not need an accomplice.
- Truth is pure and innocent.
- Truth will cause you to stand tall and walk sure.
- Truth will heal, deliver and set you free.
Having a “Truth Teller” in your life is rare and priceless. I have been blessed to have had multiple “Truth Tellers” at different times throughout my life. One such “Truth Teller” has been my sister Roxanne. She has played various roles in my life and has always held a high standard for truth. Yet her confidence and ability to speak truth to me has been developed and nurtured over time. There have been others too numerous to name yet their voices guide me to this day. I also have “Truth Tellers” that have crossed over to the other side; however, their words ring as true today as when they were spoken during their lifetime. This is another reminder that truth is not taken to the grave; it lives on, in the hearts and minds of those it touches.
Recognize the “Truth Tellers” in your life. Embrace them in your family, in your friends and on your job. Do not allow your ego to swell with agreement or false praise. Embrace truth this will help you on your road to transformation.
They say that “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger” well, I have learned the value of truth, how to be truth for others and receive truth for myself. Life is a balancing act:although; we may want to look at it through rose colored glasses, sometimes we have to accept that the glasses are dirty and need to be cleaned or that rose is not necessarily the best tint of the day.
Are you a “Truth Teller”? Can you embrace a “Truth Teller”? Create an environment where truth can be freely spoken and received. When sharing truth be genuine and unpretentious. When presented with truth respond with grace and humility. In either case walk with dignity and honor embracing its light.
Much Love, Many Blessings…Namaste!!!
Keystone Habits: One Thing…FOCUS…on “one thing.”
“Keystone habits start a process that, over time, transforms everything. Keystone habits say that success doesn’t depend on getting every single thing right, but instead relies on identifying a few key priorities and fashioning them into powerful levers. If you focus on changing or cultivating keystone habits, you can cause widespread shifts. However, identifying keystone habits is tricky. To find them, you have to know where to look. Detecting keystone habits means searching out certain characteristics. Keystone habits offer what is known within academic literature as “small wins.” They help other habits to flourish by creating new structures, and they establish cultures where change becomes contagious.” The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
OMG!!! I don’t know about each of you but sometimes I feel pulled in a million different directions. I am constantly thinking about every facet of my life. This includes my personal and spiritual health and wellness, my immediate and extended family members and friends, my job and co-workers, my business interests and hobbies, my home, my plans for my next chapter in life and the list goes on and on.
This reminds me of putting together puzzles; a hobby that requires focusing on “one thing” namely one of 500 or more pieces, that work together to create a whole. Each winter Roxanne and I go find the perfect puzzles that we work on during cold, snowy winter days. We often trade them and share our struggles and triumphs about the process. My life can often be like those puzzles. I have a completed picture in my mind of how I want or think things should go. Yet, sometimes, it is too many pieces and only so much time and energy available. This sense of being overwhelmed makes it difficult to break down the big picture into more manageable pieces.
This is when I take a breath and focus on this mantra, One Thing…FOCUS…on “one thing.” When I start a puzzle I sort out the pieces. I group my edges together and sort by color; then I group colors and pieces that pertain to other elements in the picture together. I then begin to work on the border, adding different elements until I get a finished product. This same systematic approach can apply to other areas of life.
One thing…FOCUS…on “one thing.” It may not be the most obvious thing. It might not be what someone else would do. It most definitely may not be the what appears to be the most urgent. Do not be afraid to separate, sort and group the pieces of your life and then choose “one thing” to focus on that will ultimately have an impact on everything else. Whittle away at it. Life may feel and be crazy; however, find those edges, sort out the various elements, divide into groups then choose One Thing…FOCUS…on “one thing.” Let that focus direct your habit until it becomes so natural that it is done without thought or hesitation. In this process you will realize that time has moved on and goals will have been achieved. The picture will become clear and the details will fall into place. This has helped me and I hope it helps you.
Let us know how you handle life’s challenges at drshelution.com.
Much Love, Many Blessings…Namaste!!! Sheila
“Our Father, all the confusion inspired by our weakness and our inadequacy and our failure, we make as a part of our offering to Thee. Forgive us for blindness, for pride and arrogance of mind, for the subtle conceit that undermines the integrity of all that we think, feel and do. Touch mind, heart and life, that as we move from this place of meditation into the way that we must take this week, we shall not be alone but shall feel Thy presence beside us, all the way.”
Have a Blessed Week