You just had a conversation with “Whomever”. You bared your soul, shared ideas and made plans. “Whomever” sat attentive and acknowledged your point of view with a head nod or a simple uh huh. You assumed they were agreeing with you, when in reality they were merely listening. You proceeded with gusto. Later you recapped with “Whomever” only to discover they did not agree or disagree with your ideas, but were only acknowledging the conversation.
You feel angry, hurt, and misunderstood because you thought you had their approval and/or agreement. You think they are just crazy, wishy washy and all over the page. You want them to stop changing their mind and honor their commitment — “The Agreement”.
Acknowledgement does not always equal agreement. Put the onus back on you when you are having a conversation. Start with asking yourself, can I get what I need from this person or will anyone do because I just want to be heard. Ask yourself, do I need agreement or am I willing to accept advice or opposition from “Whomever”. Carefully choose whom you have conversations with and why you have a need to share.
Once you know what you need, have the conversation. Do not be afraid. Understand and give “Whomever” the freedom to respond truthfully. More importantly remember that just because someone listens to you and/or acknowledges your ideas does not necessarily mean they agree and want to participate.
P.S. – When I talk with my husband I always say “uh huh you hear me or uh huh you agree”.